Introduction

Are your one-on-ones feeling like a waste of time? Imagine transforming these meetings from awkward status updates into powerful sessions that boost team engagement, accelerate career growth, and build stronger relationships with your teammates.

As someone who has spent over a decade in software development, with seven years in leadership and four years coaching technical leaders, I’ve found a framework that has helped hundreds of technical leaders turn their one-on-ones into their most valuable leadership tool.

Why One-on-Ones Matter

The statistics speak for themselves: 86% of employees who have regular one-on-ones report higher job satisfaction. Yet, most technical leaders admit they’re not getting the most out of these meetings. Let’s change that with the ‘4P Method’: Preparation, Process, Presence, and Progress.

The 4P Method Breakdown

1. Preparation – Setting the Foundation

Success starts with proper logistics:

• Schedule 30-minute biweekly meetings
• Make them sacred – treat them as important as planning meetings
• Create a shared agenda document where both parties can contribute
• Review the agenda before the meeting

2. Process – The Meeting Structure

First 5 minutes: Connection

• Start with small talk
• Reference personal details from previous meetings
• Check emotional temperature to adapt the meeting accordingly

Next 10 minutes: Updates and Challenges

• Let the other person lead the conversation
• Focus on removing obstacles
• Discuss immediate concerns

Following 10 minutes: Growth and Development

• Discuss long-term career goals
• Focus on skill development
• Explore upcoming opportunities

Final 5 minutes: Action Items

• Define clear next steps
• Be specific about commitments
• Set timeline for follow-up

3. Presence – The Art of Active Listening

Remember the 90/10 rule: your team member should be talking 90% of the time. Your role is to listen, guide, and support. Use these powerful questions:

• “What’s energizing you right now?”
• “Where do you feel stuck?”
• “What support do you need from me?”
• “What’s one thing we could improve?”

4. Progress – Following Through

Use a structured note-taking system. I use Notion with the following template:

• Title: Person and date
• Previous meeting: Link to prior meeting notes
• Context: Meeting discussion points
• Discussion: Questions and action items

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

1. Canceling or rescheduling frequently
2. Turning it into a status update
3. Not taking notes
4. Failing to follow up
5. Doing all the talking

Final Thoughts

While this framework provides structure, remember that every meeting will have its own energy. Let conversations flow naturally, but if your meetings aren’t productive, implementing this structure can help guide you toward more meaningful interactions.

Remember, the real progress happens between meetings, so create a system to track commitments, follow up on action items, and document growth over time. Your investment in these one-on-ones will pay dividends in team engagement, productivity, and relationships.